Nameless blog

Socks for Xmas?

by The Warchief on Dec.25, 2009, under Main, static-fueled interdimentional centrifuge

So I’m sure we all grew up and sometimes we got socks and underwear for xmas, cuz you needed them right, well maybe not, but fresh socks certainly feel good on the feet. This year I’m kinda hoping I get some new socks. Why? I’ve been given socks almost every year. For a time there I had quite an overabundance. Now, however, it’s different…

The last two places I’ve lived seem to have what I’ve theorized as a static-fueled interdimentional centrifuge, or whatever you call your common household dryer. Interdimentional you ask? I’m sure you’ve all had socks disappear at one point or another. It’s my theory that the dryer, in some scientific formula, triggered by the static electricity of your socks as they dry, causes a rift in our dimension, sucking your socks away never to be heard from again. I’m not a scientist, but it kinda makes sense doesn’t it?

This is totally my firm belief. Crazy? Well call me what you will, the fact remains that I have one pair of each type of sock I’ve owned. ONE Pair each, I had 12 pairs of some at one point. How did all duplicates except one pair disappear? It’s like these sock rifts open when there’s 3 or more of the same type of sock tumbling around in your dryer.

If someone wants to jump in their dryer and test this theory, I’ll totally pay you a quarter for each of my socks you return from the other dimension. If you’re not able to make it back, well that sux, can I have your stuff?sock-puppet


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