Nameless blog

A bird almost killed me, thank you window.

by The Warchief on Jan.13, 2010, under Dead animals, Main

So last Sunday I’m sitting here doing what I always do, working. Woohoo money! I’m sitting in my normal seat, I have my co-worker Steven behind me. It’s about 10:25 am when all of a sudden there’s this loud thud against the window next to us. Startled I turn around and look up at the window.

kamikazi bird

A bird ends it's life

It seems a bird smashed into the window at quite a high speed. Steven mentioned that before the noise, he thought he saw a bird close to the window next to him from the corner of his eye. Based off that, had there not been a window or it was able to break through, this bird may have very well taken me out. We are on the lip of the windows here on the 3rd floor, birds frequently are sitting on the edge here staring at us as we do our tech support thing. I’m guessing this one wanted to chill,  but didn’t time his landing too well. It’s also possible that it had a heart attack or other devastating thing happen, and it fell out of the sky, angled right to the window. But whatever, we’ll never know. If it could talk, it’s too late now…   I went down to confirm that this indeed killed the bird. And I found this:

Successful suicide attempt
Splatter bird

Yes it’s a sad sight. Looks like it hit the window with it’s feet, maybe pushing them into it’s abdomen then bled out in that split second before falling to the grass. I’m not about to do an autopsy on this SARS carrier. Still creeps me out that it happened so close to my head. A friend mentioned that it could be a sign, and death usually isn’t a good sign. I’ll have to watch my back for awhile. Anyway I felt this warrented a post. Hope you enjoyed the story and hopefully the pictures aren’t too graphic for ya.

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Socks for Xmas?

by The Warchief on Dec.25, 2009, under Main, static-fueled interdimentional centrifuge

So I’m sure we all grew up and sometimes we got socks and underwear for xmas, cuz you needed them right, well maybe not, but fresh socks certainly feel good on the feet. This year I’m kinda hoping I get some new socks. Why? I’ve been given socks almost every year. For a time there I had quite an overabundance. Now, however, it’s different…

The last two places I’ve lived seem to have what I’ve theorized as a static-fueled interdimentional centrifuge, or whatever you call your common household dryer. Interdimentional you ask? I’m sure you’ve all had socks disappear at one point or another. It’s my theory that the dryer, in some scientific formula, triggered by the static electricity of your socks as they dry, causes a rift in our dimension, sucking your socks away never to be heard from again. I’m not a scientist, but it kinda makes sense doesn’t it?

This is totally my firm belief. Crazy? Well call me what you will, the fact remains that I have one pair of each type of sock I’ve owned. ONE Pair each, I had 12 pairs of some at one point. How did all duplicates except one pair disappear? It’s like these sock rifts open when there’s 3 or more of the same type of sock tumbling around in your dryer.

If someone wants to jump in their dryer and test this theory, I’ll totally pay you a quarter for each of my socks you return from the other dimension. If you’re not able to make it back, well that sux, can I have your stuff?sock-puppet

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